Our Approach
Our basic approach here involves being with what’s happening moment to moment - in the nervous system, in the emotions, in the freewheeling spin of your mind. That could sound like an intense process. And it can be. But it can also be a kind of great adventure: discovering more and more about who you are…making space for old patterns to fall away and new - more consciously chosen - ways of being to form. It can be a lot more playful and exciting than a person might think as well….
My role is to stay calm and curious. It seems that being accompanied by someone who stays open and compassionate can make a big difference here. The more you feel safe in the basic sense that I’m not judging you…that I’m on your team…the more you can explore both intense difficulties and emerging and awesome possibilities. I walk beside you in that. No hurry, no judgment, no advice. Just slowing down and paying deep attention to what’s going on…and whatever you want to share of your depths.
Lastly, We work with the structure and practicality of evidence-based modes of therapy. And we root those practical tools in the wisdom and spacious heart of ancient spiritual traditions. It's a potent combination.
Our approach to wellness counselling involves four components
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Here we spend time noticing - moment to moment - what is happening in the body with a basic attitude of respect and compassion. Often, the body and its sensations can be uncomfortable or overwhelming. But with a careful, gentle approach, it becomes possible to meet the sensations in a way that feels relatively calm, safe and grounded. This opens up the possibility of interrupting stressful old nervous system patterns and gradually replacing them with patterns which are more calm, relaxed and resilient.
We often start out with the feeling that nervous system activation (fight, flight, freeze impulses) are something happening to us - like something imposed on us from the outside world that we have to somehow deal with. Through somatic work, we gradually shift into the feeling that our nervous system is working for us. So we begin to become more skilful in letting it do its thing…in a way that leads eventually to a greater sense of joy and well-being.
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Here, Cognitive wellness involves the work of releasing any and all stories and core beliefs that distort your sense of what's true. It’s about finding the courage to set aside comforting, intoxicating, ego-inflating ideas and accepting instead humbling, vulnerable truths. So it's a destructive process, but one which can lead to a greater sense of freedom and authenticity.
While exploring cognitive wellness, we might dip into formal counselling approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, or Narrative Therapy.
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Here, spiritual wellness involves deep Self-connection. The space here is offered as a kind of sanctuary - with armed gargoyles posted at all the doors - where nothing and no one is telling you what to do. Even the old voices gathered from your childhood, your church...they're all invited quiet down for a while to make room for some part of your soul to grab the mic and have its say. Your opportunity lays in having support and space to settle down into your own depths and find deeper and deeper truths that have nothing to do with what anyone else thinks.
An orientation of committed, lived spirituality infuses the whole space of what we do here.
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Here, emotional wellness involves coming face to face with our wounded parts: a direct, intimate meeting in which their needs and pain become obvious. Healing occurs through giving them what they need.
A big part of the work we do with emotions involves the attitude of a kind, wise old grandmother who’s seen it all. The idea then is to sit and walk along with the emotions in gentle accompaniment: giving them a world of space and time in which they can be deeply seen, deeply felt. The other part of the work,…if those emotions have been held down for years and years..is to give them an opportunity to come and be more fully part of the lived body.
Tenderness here involves revoking the sense that some part of ourselves should be a particular way. Compassion here is infused with respect: rather than being tinged with pity, it may easily include a recognition of the sacred, primordial dignity of the hurt part. Compassion and honoring at the same time.
The real focus of these sessions is to meet you where you’re at. So that involves on my part some kind of commitment to genuine openness: giving space for you to be you whatever that might look like. One part of that is setting aside ideas of how you should be. How would I know how you should be? How would anyone? I’ll sit with you in the surprise of who you are on any given day - what might be newly unfolding for you. No fixed images.
Another part of this is working with you to build a little culture of two for the sessions - something that suits you. The ground for building this is some kind of authenticity. I’m not very worried about showing up in a way that matches peoples’ expectations of how a counselor should talk. I’m not a big one for fake smiles or using a bunch of therapy speak. My concern is showing up with you in a way that supports you in feeling relaxed and safe. Over time we become more unshakeable - better able to meet intense energies with a bit of raw grace.
When you feel ready to deep dive into the exploring who you are...